At exactly 7 AM this morning as in every weekday morning, my michael is out of our door. I would kiss him goodbye, bid him take care and then lock the gates.
And yet this morning is different from every morning of the almost three months we were together, I do not relish the site that greets me in our small house as I close the door behind me. There is a gargantuan of dishes that needed to be washed as we were both too tired from last night and the breakfast stuff also got added into it.
The furniture is in disarray and boxes, bags from our weekend stay in Manila litter the floor.
I checked out our dirty laundry box and found it to be full. I checked out the trash bin in the kitchen area and found it full as well.
I checked out our refrigerator and found nothing there except a few garlic and some unused monggo beans and a few malunggay leaves.Meaning a trip to the market is needed.
I checked my blackberry phone and found I had lots of catch up stuff I need to do for work today given the holiday yesterday.
I saw some gelatin and condensed milk and got inspired to prepare dessert later for my michael when he comes back at around 6 pm.Im thinking that plus the mongo dinner will be sufficient and I didn't need to go out to the market today.
But for some reason, the enthusiasm died. I went over the sala area and opened the newly bought LCD TV. There is nothing really good to watch so I just lingered on to watch the tantrums and concerns of overgrown girls in Canada's Next Top Model.
And probably for a good couple of hours I just sat down mindlessly watching a show that I didn't really much care about.
And then it struck me. I am not a princess. This is not a fairy tale. I am not that girl that plays house with her toy kitchen wares anymore who will ask a friend that is a boy to pretend he is my husband so we can play husband and wife. My yaya will not suddenly appear from nowhere asking me to go home, stop playing because its getting late. I am a grown woman. I am married. I have a husband that will come home to a dirty house with no food in the table if I don't get up from where I have been sitting lazily for hours.
I cannot let the lack of enthusiasm get in the way of what needs to be done or the responsibilities assigned me and I have taken upon myself.
I got up , checked the cupboard and found a single pack of chicken noodles. I smiled. So now I realize why at my mother's house in Las Pinas, we never ran out of noodles and had like a dozen of it available at any given time. It is for times like this when one needs "magic" . Instant noodles, instant energy, instant "feel good". Let me have my cup first and then maybe I can still do that gelatin later plus all the other stuff....because I'm not a princess but I am a wife.