Wednesday, August 27, 2014


I was walking Bonn to school this morning when he decided to ran ahead of me. With that, his shoe flew off to the side of the street with its insole coming out. Bonn’s face became really distraught as he called out to me. “ Mommy, Mommy. My shoe!”. I hurriedly picked up the shoe and the separated shoe sole. And then I heard him cry out  “ Oh No! I will never go to school ever again.”……..

“Because of the shoe?”, I asked. “ But Mommy is gonna fix it, see?”   I went up to him and showed him how to stick back the inner sole into the shoe and then I placed it back on his right foot. “ but it’s broken, Mommy…I’m never ever going to school again.” I looked him straight to his face with all the reassurance I can muster  and told him. “ It’s not broken anymore, Mommy fixed it.” He looked back with uncertainty as if he doesn’t believe me. “it’s broken, Mommy, it’s broken.”  “Now, try to walk….” . He stepped forward slowly and went back to his happy self, hopping merrily off to school as I followed right behind him.
I’m not sure if he has forgotten the incident by now but it has surely got me to thinking and writing. First, I wonder how he came to the conclusion that a broken shoe will stop him from attending his pre-school classes. Well, that would probably be easy as he needs his shoes to walk to school but what got to me were the words “never ever”. Ok, at this point, most of you would probably stop me and say, stop overthinking, it was just child talk. Still, it bothered me. Am I lacking in instilling in my child the notion of putting less value on material things and more on important stuff like learning, joy, kindness, thoughtfulness, …you know all the real good values. How could his world fall apart over a broken shoe? Is this a vision of things to come? I can’t remove the picture of his crestfallen face out of my mind.
Or maybe its just a case  of ensuring next time I put aside budget concerns in buying his personal stuff and really ensure high quality ones. I always try to be in the middle, you know like that EQ diaper commercial, quality without the added expense. Still, I wonder.. . should  I learn something more from this incident/ should I double time in telling him stories of children poorer than him than goes to school barefooted. He is only 3 years old, would he understand that?  Maybe more VALUES stories vs Disney junior adventures?

It’s nearly time to pick him up from school so I should put the keyboards to rest now. I need to review my parenting strategy again and be always vigilant. If things need to be corrected, it has to be done sooner than later.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014


I just realized its almost two years  since I last wrote an entry. What happened between then and now can be summarized in one name "JENA". I gave birth to a healthy baby girl February 8, 2013. With her birth was another change in residence this time to a two bedroom unit in Siena Park Residences. I would say its an upgraded " boxed living"  as we have an extra bedroom to serve as playroom for the kids.The amenities. however, are the same....pool, playground. clubhouse.

The dynamics have changed somehow and the demands of motherhood have amplified  to a level that I have foregone writing for some time. Every now and them , I would be able to write a few verses and post them in my facebook account. Those couple of verses plus  give or take a few  more sums up my writing diet.

I am writing this  9 minutes before midnight just after my last audio conference meeting for work and I would say I am dead tired. So this would be very short as I do want to lie down and rest  for Jena's wake up time at 5AM when everyone gets up even Bonn. My Michael prepares to go to work, my Jena and Bonn heads to the other room where their bookshelf and toy boxes are while I get breakfast ready to feed my kids.I would have difficulties carrying out these tasks so my first order of the day is heat up water for coffee.This is regardless of the fact that I just consumed a cup of coffee three hours ago so I can stay awake for work.My Michael leaves at around 6 to 630 AM but not before he rounds us up to say a morning prayer. Once he is gone, I would be alone with the kids. I would start preparing items to put in Bonn's snack box.Yes, Bomn is now going to Nursery to a school within walking distance from our place.I would turn the TV on to Disney Junior so that I can be sure Bonn is not actively playing with Jena. Bonn would be watching TV typically bananas in pajamas while Jena either sits  browsing over the pictures of a book or following Mommy around in the kitchen requesting water, or yoghurt drink or biscuits or just wanting to be carried.. If I do allow them to play together, it would be when I am 100% focused on watching them and not doing others tasks.The reason is because Bonn, at his young age, gets streaks of jealousy and would push Jena.There were times in the past that she had incurred a small bump in the head which thankfully did not worsen. With Bonn's snacks secured, all his school stuff ready, the biggest hurdle for the day would be to give him a bath , change him to his school uniform and beg him o put on his black shoes. This , while Jena is in full sight from the open bathroom door and not allowed entry. The difficult task done, I now change clothes to accompany Bonn to school. Ideally, the stay out help arrives 730 am so I can leave Jena behind. Most times though , she will be absent or late so I simply get the stroller ready, strap Jena to it and then with the other hand guide Bonn out of the door.

Bonn arrives at school around 8 am and then will let out his standard scream and cries  when Mommy leaves.I have to whisper to him again saying , "Mommies are not allowed inside the classroom. Mommy loves you very much.Follow what Teacher says.I'll come back for you after school (which is 1030 AM)."

I head home within 10 minutes and will now be exposed to Jena's crying, a signal that she is sleepy.Mommy would then cradle her in her arms and sing her a lullabye to sleep,.1030AM arrives and I go pick-up Bonn.The help would have arrived this time so I can leave Jena behind.

I would open Bonn's snack box and will ask him to finish his left overs. This he will gamely do if you let him play with his cars first or his playdo. Lunch is prepared and served, kids are fed and Bonn is changed to naptime clothes. I prepare his before sleep milk bottle and accompanies him to the room.Hopefully Mommy gets to sleep a couple of hours with Bonn if he doesn't scream "NOT TOO SLEEP WITH MOMMY! PLAY OUTSIDE!' And the daily battle begins involving tears, catch me if you can game, to mommy pleas and negotiations such as  if you sleep, we will go swim in the pool when you wake up or if you sleep Mommy will make an angry bird from your play doh, etc..etc..or sometimes I just will be direct and tell him. Mommy is very tired and sleepy so please would you sleep with her because she won;t be able to sleep if you don't an dof course, that doesn't work. There are times I get to put him to sleep in an hour. If I don't , then it would simply mean I have to put him to sleep at night two hours earlier than his 830PM bedtime,

That rounds up my morning routine. The afternoon will all come rushing in with putting Jena to sleep after Bonn, trying to do some work, afternoon meetings over the phone.Thinking what to give the kids for afternoon snack....thinking what to cook for dinner...daddy arriving...mommy putting the kids to bed again...mommy rushing to the computer for meetings and reports and everything ends like tonight did.Computer is shut down. Doors are checked if locked.Lights are turned off at the living room.I enter the bedroom and lie besides Jena who hopefully won't wake up between now and 5 AM.Sometimes, I would continue to be awake until 2 AM due to the coffee taken.

Then it all starts again the following day.

It took me thirty minutes to write this entry.Precious sleep time gone. but I wanted to document this part of my life so one day I can look back and say 'it was all worth it".

But I guess I don't have to wait for a couple more years to read this entry again and say that.

Just as I finish this up, I already know "it's all worth it.."